Why Wonder Woman Failed

Wonder Woman put me in a melancholy mood. It was dreadful to watch. It felt like a surreal, nightmare caricature on one hand, and on the other- an intentional sleight. There are some things that fail so badly that you would you might be inclined to give up. Like pedestrians wondering the White House trashing it. How does that happen? It’s the pinnacle in failures that results in us blaming gods and morality instead of recognizing we are often the cause of our own problems.

I love Gal Godot. I mean, who wouldn’t? She is charming and works hard to do her screen magic. She deserves better. I love Chris Pine. Who couldn’t love the other James T Kirk? Wonder Woman 2017 was working for me until they brought in a god to fight with. If you go deeper into this- Wonder Woman 2017 was ‘the Aeneid’ revisited- only, this time, instead of the warrior-queen dying, it was Chris Pine- who played Steve who was really ‘Aeneas.’ Without Aeneas, Rome doesn’t only fail- it never gets started. Seeing Chris return in the credits, I was wondering if they would be doing something sneaky, like- invoke classic Trek and do a parody of ‘City on the Edge of Forever:’ in order for Rome, the Federation, to exist Kirk must travel through time to kill Edith Keeler- Joan Collins. That may have actually been a better story than the one we got, which is essentially, the story of ‘Pandora’s Box,’ and the ‘Monkey’s Paw’ twisted into one.

Wonder Woman failed the moment the child Diana was competing with adults and was shown to be superior. It failed further when it showed the male child, played by Lucian Perez as being completely useless. Does he even a name? His lack of lines and limited facial expression, locked on being the saddest boy in the world, wasn’t only manipulative, Disney level trope, it reeked of male hatred- where boys are useless and fathers are negligent, reckless, and flat out abusive. There were really only two children in this to contrast- unless you count the mall scene, and again- males being mean too kids. Did you know, in real life, even bad guys hate people who are mean to kids? The lesson Diana got about cheating is a reasonable lesson. To compete with adults, children would have to cheat. But when you think about how fast the ‘world’ failed in this movie, all of it apparently driven by the insanity of adults- that all the adults were failing, even Diana, the redemption could have come from the child with a simple wish, “I want my father back the way I remember him.” Yeah, his father shut that down- but there was another opportunity to make his wish during his nightmare run, and father wouldn’t have been able to deny- he was contending with the whole world and wouldn’t have seen it snuck in.

Where were the voices of the other children? When all hell was breaking lose at my house, my wishes were very clear: “Please, stop,” “God, help me,” and “I wish I were dead.” I never wished for others to die. I wished some people would change. I wished some people would just go away. I wished for peace and love. But mostly, I just wanted to go away and be invisible and never hurt again. This movie doesn’t give credit to how mature adults really think. My wishes today are much more complicated, even restrained. Most adults are good people and wish kindness towards others. You can’t have 9 billion people on a planet and not have this.

I am okay with invoking god and morality in a play. That’s what these things are about. Our fictions are supposed to help us see, to mature, to find ways to navigate the complexities of our social maps. If a movie is particularly good, anyone can invoke it- with word, or a meme, and if you time it right-you can unlock superior knowledge- an entire infrastructure of sophistication in understanding faster than you can construct a sentence to state the obvious. I grew up watching Wonder Woman. To this day, I remember her first incarnation on film- she was blond. She went up against Kahn, or Ricardo Montalbán- Fantasy Island’s Mr. Roarke. Yes, all things are connected to Star Trek. I am sure Kevin Bacon is connected somehow, too. I crushed hard on Cathy Lee Crosby because of that movie. I am sure if I watched it now, the quality of writing would likely be lacking- and yet, I would still find ‘Wonder Woman,’ 1974 superior to ‘Wonder Woman 1984.’

No one knows how to write evil these days. Just take Snoke, for example. That’s Star Wars for you. Kylo killing Han, now that is up there in terms of evil. That alone should have resulted in catastrophic social and emotional fall out that would have been unrecoverable if you were writing a tragedy. There is enough in that to build a truly great Star Wars trilogy. Snoke was unnecessary. Mary Poppins didn’t have a bad guy. In truth, as revealed in the movie ‘Saving Mr. Banks,’ the movie was about the redemption of the father. So was Star Wars. ‘Mary Poppins Returns’ didn’t a need a bad guy. They had the death of a mother and the Great Depression- there’s enough here to contend with. Just having Michael using the same language to his kids that his dad used on him would have been enough. “You sound like your father,” would be enough of a reflection from Mary to provoke the introspection that results in recovery. Wonder Woman 1984 approached evil, but made it too abstract. There was nothing here to contend with because- there was nothing here.

I recently reported liking the first couple episodes of Star Trek: Discovery, season 3. I thought they were well enough done that something might be salvaged- but they returned to the ‘evil’ universe meme, which wasn’t done well the first time and was just one of the reasons why it was failing to capture and hold an audience. They didn’t just return to the evil world, but an unknown, ‘godlike’ entity, opened the door and Michele Yeoh just walks through. (Yeoh, as a world renown actress, deserves better writing.) The door concept is interesting, and deserves better writing. Invoke Monster Inc, Star Trek level. That would be funny and good. My first thought, this is Q. He said he was Carl. Seriously, the writing sucks. Why? Well, maybe because- and this will be true for Wonder Woman fan, Trek fans, and comic book fans- we matured watching the best of the best and we know what quality writing is. There are good stories in comics that could be revisited, for the first time on the screen. There are fan-fictions that are better written than this. Fuck, there is an entire Star Trek: TOS fan fiction on YOUTUBE that absolutely rocks in terms of recreating the original feel. I think some of it is quaint, but fuck, they did a good job and if they were writing for Wonder Woman- I think we would have had better than 1984.

Maybe there is a bigger theme unfolding in the DC film plan, but they are still failing compared to what Marvel did. How does the world fail to the degree it did in Wonder Woman 1984 and six months later we’re back to normal level Christmas? Our COVID 19 Pandemic wasn’t as bad as the catastrophic failure in Wonder Woman 1984’s paradigm, and our Christmas sucked ass for most people. There were no parades. Streets were pretty much empty New Years, too. You can’t blow up the Enterprise and fucking get it back and go on like nothing happened. Yeah, I know, Rick Berman loved blowing up the Enterprise D. “Voyager” changed command so often, you might have thought it was a parody of “Crimson Tide.” Oh, there is Star Trek meme in there, too.

There is a limit to what we can break and still fix. Take relationships. Relationship’s are probably the hardest thing we as humans will ever engage in. Most of us will have struggled at sometime, and if we stuck it out we learned something about ourselves, about others, and about life. People who have lived life tend to write better stories than people who just graduated from college and are still figuring things out. Yes, that’s a generalization. It’s generally true, if you hire a season writer and producer, you get better material. Are there some kids writing stuff that can compete with their seniors? Sure. Mozart stands out as a prodigy. Christopher Paolini published ‘Erogan’ at 19, and was writing at 15. I imagine if he is still writing when he is 50, he might be telling some stories that need attention.

My writing is all over the map, with a few cornels worth attention, but over all- I have not done as well as Paolini. My writing is getting better. I have a great sense of story- I have watched some the most amazing movies ever. There are great movies out there. They have shaped my ideas about what good movies are. That doesn’t make me a director or a producer, and I can’t imagine all the details that go into making good movies. There are people who get paid well for that. Where are they? Seriously, Cameron rocked Aliens. Why didn’t we bring him back? Even a consult would have kept it moving better than anything that followed Cameron’s ‘Aliens.’ Sure, not all of Cameron’s work is perfect. I am weary about the next Avatar movie. I loved ‘Avatar’, even though it was too black and white for my taste- but cinematography wise- it influenced me. It literally gave me dreams for months. I just don’t see where you go with a sequel. The species on the moon, they can’t leave. They made too much emphasis on how important the entire biosphere is to all life. Now, it would be nice to see if that biosphere could be transplanted. Terraforming dead worlds and spreading love and life through the universe seems like good meme to pursue. That’s what we, as a species, need to be considering- when you consider if we don’t succeed in this, we go the way of the dinosaurs. The story of Noah has bigger implications than you imagine.

Wonder Woman was a part of my life. I love strong female characters. Not just in strength, but in wisdom, in compassion, in emotional and intellectual intelligence. Most people do. I was a huge fan of ‘Almighty Isis.’ DC keeps invoking gods in there films, why haven’t we seen Isis, yet? Wouldn’t it be funny to see her kicking ‘isis terroris butt because they usurped her name? You want to shame those guys, make a movie that reminds the world that Isis is a GODDESS of Knowledge and Love and feminize their leadership. You could even do it without even referencing the terrorist in the film, which ironically, would actually do more harm to their movement than fighting them in combat. The NAZIs usurped the Swastika. It used to be a symbol for well-being, luck, and love. Now a days, you can’t touch it without it meaning something evil. What would happen to Christianity if we turned the cross into something evil? Seriously, hanging people as a form of capital punishment is bad. Why isn’t that symbol bad?

What we write matters. You make enough bad films, you put a bad taste in people’s mouth and they’re not going to want to keep watching your films. That’s the best outcome. Worst outcome, you trash something that a large group of people treasure. Yeah, you have the right to do that. I suppose if Wonder Woman was marketed towards kids- then 1984 might make sense. No, actually, I have seen too many movies that were written for kids that were also surprisingly appealing to adults. Yeah, we the people own the White House and everything in it, so I guess I could just walk in and take a podium for a walk and photo op. The thing is, WE own the White House. We own the movies we watch. I am not talking about ownership like, I bought the movie so I have the right to view it- I am talking about it’s in my head. I own what happens in my head. I want good stuff in my head. When I see evidence that people don’t share a reverence for something that belongs to a group of people, I usually point that out, then I ask, “please, stop,” and then I start wishing things would go away, and then I start wishing for death.

I am not suicidal. Death is metaphor for change. I want change. I can see a bunch of people getting together and saying, ‘let’s have fun with Wonder Woman 1984.’ In that instance, more effort to make this a comedy might have worked for me. There was a DC movie, ‘Batman Versus Superman,’ in which Wonder Woman, Gal Gadot, makes her debut. That was in modern times, right? They made a joke, ‘who is she?’ ‘I don’t know, thought she was with you,’ kind of thing. Kind of funny. Except- Wonder Woman saved the entire world in 1984 by addressing every human directly, addressing their heart and asking them to renounce their wish. How did they not know Wonder Woman when two, male, polarized super egos go to battle? There is a theme in that. Chaotic good can be just as evil as lawful evil. ‘Batman Verus Superman,’ there was opportunity to discuss that, as opposed to just bring Superman into a dystopian paradigm.

It would have been better to conclude WW1984 with Diana waking up and it was just a bad dream. She is what, 800 something years old, per the comics, and she hasn’t learned to deal with the death of a loved one? In terms of life interactions, using just the film as a reference point, Steve hardly seems to warrant her pining for 30 years. That doesn’t honor the sacrifice. That’s not heroic. Kate Winslow’s character in the ‘Titanic,’ now that was heroic. Oh, yeah, that was also Cameron! The best thing that could have happened to Wonder Woman would have been that unnamed boy wishing his dad was normal again, then none of 1984 happened.

Is 53 still childhood? I wish this hadn’t happened.