Old English Fun
I am certain this would make a funny youtube video. Might even go viral. I just don't have the balls to pull it off. Or the acting skills for true irony and humor. So, imagine I did and this is a youtube video.
Welcome back, viewers, to another installment of Sherlock Holmes. We will be continuing our reading today of 'The Hound of the Baskervilles...' (Turns to the page.) "Homles ejaculated from his chair..." (Pauses, uncomfortably. Pulls out a magnifying glass, read it.) Mutters: 'I thought this was g-rated.' Looks up word. Argues with himself.
Yes, you heard that right. It's right here, in black and white. You stole Fizzy Lifting Drink. The ceiling has to be scrubbed and sterilized... Wait wait wait. I am not sure where that came from. What's on, 'Watson?' Brings new meaning to 'The game's a foot!' "Yes, Holmes, you got it on my foot." Did they have circle jerks in Victorian England? I wonder if that's why tables in the Victorian era needed socks; all those men ejaculating from their chairs.
In Holmes' defense, he was using morphine. Sometimes our discernment goes out the window when using. Was Holmes the first House MD? Nothing new under the sun.
But what changed? Did language or society change? I am only trying to illuminate a point here. If you would tolerate another Wonka reference, actually a quote, of Wonka quoting the esteemed Portia:
"That light we see is burning in my hall / How far that little candle throws his beams! / So shines a good deed in a naughty world.”
Wait wait wait. That's not quite what I meant. The Internet is not for Porn. Okay, it is! But not my channel. This was not supposed to be an episode of Three's Company. That's not what we're trying to get across here. It would, however, make procreation easier. Apparently there are lots of willing partners outside of my zip code. There seems to be correlation between distance and availability. Why the fuck is that? Why are all the girls interested in me in some foreign Asian country whose name I can't pronounce? I mean, I can say Bangkok. No! Stop laughing. How the hell did they get that name? Seriously, someone had to know that would become the butt of a joke...
But we're not talking about that! This was supposed to be just a friendly reading from a book that should be g rated, and past the copy right laws allowing me to read it on a public forum and build up viewers. Stop it! I am not building you up. I am not the ASMR guy. No, I am not opposed. God bless those women pushing their cleavage into the camera while stroking the microphone to help decrease the suffering of epidemic loneliness in the world... Resulting in more ejaculating from chairs...
There's some serious mileage you can get with this. Believe it not, it's a real world that means different things, and was articulated in many a friendly conversations without snickering. I, personally, can't imagine such a context. My brain is much more sexualized than the brain of someone a hundred years ago. Then again, the reason they had all of those 'Victorian' rules was because they were trying to avoid all of those reminders that their brains were also sexualized! Do yourealize how many Egyptian artifacts were destroyed because of the sexual content of their art work. It was too pornographic and women of Victorian ages might faint. Or be jealous. I am leaning towards the latter, because clearly they didn't go and cut the member of of Michelangelo's David.
Anyway, here it is from the dictionary. Ejaculated, a verb. One: to utter suddenly and briefly; exclaim. "Such as in OMG, I am coming!" Two: to eject. Probably semen, but perhaps also, in theory, probably a volley of words, cursing like a sailor. Why do seamen keeping ejecting themselves into this conversation? Three: to eject suddenly and swiftly; discharge. I don't really see how that is different than definition number two. It doesn't have to be semen, right? Can a pimple's content be ejaculated? Was the bubble bath ejected from Wonka's Wonkamobile ejaculation? A spew of soapy, wet bubbles were ejaculated out. Aww, but that was just good clean fun. Do you suppose even the Oxford guys were having trouble writing this word. Stop it! You Oxford guys. Someone should really clean up your table leg socks.
Origins? "1570–80; < Latin ējaculātus (past participle of ējaculārī) shot out, equivalent to ē- e-1 + jacul(um) javelin (jac(ere) to throw + -ulum -ule) + -ātus -ate1" Stop throwing that shit! Be responsible. Use a condom. Not a sock. Unless it's a table sock. But clean up after yourself, for Love's sake. Feel bad for your mom who has to clean the floor! And spare her having to understand why there is always one crumbled up sock in the corner. Pick it up, reverse it, through it in the washer.
(Bumper music defines commercial breaks: "I smell sex and candy here.")
OMG, seriously? Can we not escape this madness?
In all seriousness folks, we live in a highly sexualized world. You almost have to make light of it. Not like Portia's light. Seriously. Stop snickering. Stop tossing candle wax. We could all stand to have more compassion towards people in general, but even more so when it comes to sex and the extreme continuum on how that plays out in the lives of humans. Be knowledgeable about it- in all dimensions. Words, for example- quickly change. In our own life times words of become acceptable and declined in acceptability. They're just words for the most part, but people have attachment to words, and emotional responses to words, and that's where sensitivity comes into play. Be aware of your emotional footprint on the world. And watch more 'Sexplanations' with Doctor Lindsey Doe. Spread the word. Help de-stigmatize sexual stereotypes and make the world a more loving, sex positive place. After all, isn't that why we're all here? Just saying.
Welcome back, viewers, to another installment of Sherlock Holmes. We will be continuing our reading today of 'The Hound of the Baskervilles...' (Turns to the page.) "Homles ejaculated from his chair..." (Pauses, uncomfortably. Pulls out a magnifying glass, read it.) Mutters: 'I thought this was g-rated.' Looks up word. Argues with himself.
Yes, you heard that right. It's right here, in black and white. You stole Fizzy Lifting Drink. The ceiling has to be scrubbed and sterilized... Wait wait wait. I am not sure where that came from. What's on, 'Watson?' Brings new meaning to 'The game's a foot!' "Yes, Holmes, you got it on my foot." Did they have circle jerks in Victorian England? I wonder if that's why tables in the Victorian era needed socks; all those men ejaculating from their chairs.
In Holmes' defense, he was using morphine. Sometimes our discernment goes out the window when using. Was Holmes the first House MD? Nothing new under the sun.
But what changed? Did language or society change? I am only trying to illuminate a point here. If you would tolerate another Wonka reference, actually a quote, of Wonka quoting the esteemed Portia:
"That light we see is burning in my hall / How far that little candle throws his beams! / So shines a good deed in a naughty world.”
Wait wait wait. That's not quite what I meant. The Internet is not for Porn. Okay, it is! But not my channel. This was not supposed to be an episode of Three's Company. That's not what we're trying to get across here. It would, however, make procreation easier. Apparently there are lots of willing partners outside of my zip code. There seems to be correlation between distance and availability. Why the fuck is that? Why are all the girls interested in me in some foreign Asian country whose name I can't pronounce? I mean, I can say Bangkok. No! Stop laughing. How the hell did they get that name? Seriously, someone had to know that would become the butt of a joke...
But we're not talking about that! This was supposed to be just a friendly reading from a book that should be g rated, and past the copy right laws allowing me to read it on a public forum and build up viewers. Stop it! I am not building you up. I am not the ASMR guy. No, I am not opposed. God bless those women pushing their cleavage into the camera while stroking the microphone to help decrease the suffering of epidemic loneliness in the world... Resulting in more ejaculating from chairs...
There's some serious mileage you can get with this. Believe it not, it's a real world that means different things, and was articulated in many a friendly conversations without snickering. I, personally, can't imagine such a context. My brain is much more sexualized than the brain of someone a hundred years ago. Then again, the reason they had all of those 'Victorian' rules was because they were trying to avoid all of those reminders that their brains were also sexualized! Do yourealize how many Egyptian artifacts were destroyed because of the sexual content of their art work. It was too pornographic and women of Victorian ages might faint. Or be jealous. I am leaning towards the latter, because clearly they didn't go and cut the member of of Michelangelo's David.
Anyway, here it is from the dictionary. Ejaculated, a verb. One: to utter suddenly and briefly; exclaim. "Such as in OMG, I am coming!" Two: to eject. Probably semen, but perhaps also, in theory, probably a volley of words, cursing like a sailor. Why do seamen keeping ejecting themselves into this conversation? Three: to eject suddenly and swiftly; discharge. I don't really see how that is different than definition number two. It doesn't have to be semen, right? Can a pimple's content be ejaculated? Was the bubble bath ejected from Wonka's Wonkamobile ejaculation? A spew of soapy, wet bubbles were ejaculated out. Aww, but that was just good clean fun. Do you suppose even the Oxford guys were having trouble writing this word. Stop it! You Oxford guys. Someone should really clean up your table leg socks.
Origins? "1570–80; < Latin ējaculātus (past participle of ējaculārī) shot out, equivalent to ē- e-1 + jacul(um) javelin (jac(ere) to throw + -ulum -ule) + -ātus -ate1" Stop throwing that shit! Be responsible. Use a condom. Not a sock. Unless it's a table sock. But clean up after yourself, for Love's sake. Feel bad for your mom who has to clean the floor! And spare her having to understand why there is always one crumbled up sock in the corner. Pick it up, reverse it, through it in the washer.
(Bumper music defines commercial breaks: "I smell sex and candy here.")
OMG, seriously? Can we not escape this madness?
In all seriousness folks, we live in a highly sexualized world. You almost have to make light of it. Not like Portia's light. Seriously. Stop snickering. Stop tossing candle wax. We could all stand to have more compassion towards people in general, but even more so when it comes to sex and the extreme continuum on how that plays out in the lives of humans. Be knowledgeable about it- in all dimensions. Words, for example- quickly change. In our own life times words of become acceptable and declined in acceptability. They're just words for the most part, but people have attachment to words, and emotional responses to words, and that's where sensitivity comes into play. Be aware of your emotional footprint on the world. And watch more 'Sexplanations' with Doctor Lindsey Doe. Spread the word. Help de-stigmatize sexual stereotypes and make the world a more loving, sex positive place. After all, isn't that why we're all here? Just saying.
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