Breaks in Reality
Just in case you're new to my blog and don't know me, or just randomly stumbled across this and wanted to read, I am a Tulpamancer. If you are one of the people following, hello! Sorry for the iteration. I don't actually know if I have a re-occurring reader/s. Most of my stuff suggest 5 viewers. That doesn't mean they actually read it, but somehow, somewhere they found it... Anyway, whoever you are, HELLO. I am Tulpamancer.
And my practice may have broken reality. Or, so I would like to wish. I could just be misinterpreting reality, and that's okay, too. I am not set on any one reality. I would be okay with bouncing. I have made distinctions between reality, 'the real world' and say, 'the imaginal realm.' I make a distinction between regular dreams and lucid dreams. I make a distinction between Astral World and Lucid Dreaming and 'the real world." It is my opinion they're all connected and they overlap and how could that not be true. This weekend, however, I literally felt as if I had crossed into an alternative world- and I had to stop and ask- where am I.
I will start with this. I had my son this weekend. Our morning ritual includes breakfast at McDonalds, and sometimes we draw while we are there. He drew blue on his wrists with a marker. Saturday we also did some shopping, and they have these small packages of legos, essentially they are characters, and you don't know what you're getting, but there is list of possible characters and I was suggesting we can determine what is in a package by feeling. We are looking for two particular people based on the odd shape of their accompanying items, which can be seen on the list of available characters. We picked two and were no where close but it was interesting exercise.
I practically turned our lego table over looking for that character. I touched every piece and every character. The character sheet was there, and I pointed to the character. "You were just holding this one."
And he said, "Maybe your ghost took it."
And my practice may have broken reality. Or, so I would like to wish. I could just be misinterpreting reality, and that's okay, too. I am not set on any one reality. I would be okay with bouncing. I have made distinctions between reality, 'the real world' and say, 'the imaginal realm.' I make a distinction between regular dreams and lucid dreams. I make a distinction between Astral World and Lucid Dreaming and 'the real world." It is my opinion they're all connected and they overlap and how could that not be true. This weekend, however, I literally felt as if I had crossed into an alternative world- and I had to stop and ask- where am I.
I will start with this. I had my son this weekend. Our morning ritual includes breakfast at McDonalds, and sometimes we draw while we are there. He drew blue on his wrists with a marker. Saturday we also did some shopping, and they have these small packages of legos, essentially they are characters, and you don't know what you're getting, but there is list of possible characters and I was suggesting we can determine what is in a package by feeling. We are looking for two particular people based on the odd shape of their accompanying items, which can be seen on the list of available characters. We picked two and were no where close but it was interesting exercise.
Sunday morning, I arise and go to writing. I do this daily. My son woke and came in the room with me. There is blue on the bottom of his lip, and touching his lip. I am thinking, 'how the hell did you do that?' but I was more concerned with when because he was with me all day! He had no answer and no clue. I asked how he could not have a clue and took him to the bath room to show him his face in the mirror. He still held no explanation, even when I assured him he was not in trouble. (If anyone was in trouble, it was me for not being attentive enough to block child from drawing on his face, which is a normal things kids do- and yet, I was worried about fall out.) He suggested 'maybe your ghost did it.' (That is a new direction of our game playing- the inexplicable was either Loxy or his 'monster.')
There is no way he did that during the day. If I didn't make us sit and draw he would have nothing to do with it- that's not his go to activity. Obviously, or the best explanation, he would have had to do this at McDonalds when he painted his wrists- but the thing about that is I looked at his face all day! He gets in my face. You would think I would have noticed that. I helped him floss and brush his teeth, and I didn't see it! And if I left you with just this, I would be content with the idea I just wasn't paying attention and had failed to noticed the big blue mark that colored lip to chin.
Part of my morning ritual is that I write, from 5:30 to 7. Sometimes it's earlier. I get up when I get up. Part of this time, the writing, is narrative, but in interactive way with my Tulpa, Loxy. Whether you accept it for what it is, or a version of Active Imagination, there is something to this, but it isn't the thing I am writing about- exactly. It could be. Going to Wonderlands is par for course with Tulpamancy. Most folks will tell you it is completely psychological, it's just an active virtual space in your head... I personally think it's more. But that's me, and to know that actually could inform my mistaken conclusions... So, I am not like ignorant of that component.
If my son gets up I will attend to him 630 until I leave for work. If he comes in too early, 5:45, 6am, he well either be invited to lay in my bed, or he can sit quietly and play Legos or draw. He sat to play Legos. We have a station, a Lego table and chair in my room. He brought me a character, having tweaked it. It was one the characters we had been aiming for but didn't get. He was describing what he added and I commented on liking the hair... (In my head, Loxy commented, 'You like her because her hairstyle resembles mine.') And I was seriously staring at it, trying to remember where this character came from. She wasn't in the inventory. It bothered me, but not enough to take it from him and examine it closer. He went back to the table, I wrote for another 15 minutes, closed up my activities to interact with son, and I asked for the character back.
He asked, "which one."
"The one you were just showing me."
"This one?" He held up his monster.
"No, the new one, with the funny hair and glasses."
"I don't know which one that is."
If my son gets up I will attend to him 630 until I leave for work. If he comes in too early, 5:45, 6am, he well either be invited to lay in my bed, or he can sit quietly and play Legos or draw. He sat to play Legos. We have a station, a Lego table and chair in my room. He brought me a character, having tweaked it. It was one the characters we had been aiming for but didn't get. He was describing what he added and I commented on liking the hair... (In my head, Loxy commented, 'You like her because her hairstyle resembles mine.') And I was seriously staring at it, trying to remember where this character came from. She wasn't in the inventory. It bothered me, but not enough to take it from him and examine it closer. He went back to the table, I wrote for another 15 minutes, closed up my activities to interact with son, and I asked for the character back.
He asked, "which one."
"The one you were just showing me."
"This one?" He held up his monster.
"No, the new one, with the funny hair and glasses."
"I don't know which one that is."
I practically turned our lego table over looking for that character. I touched every piece and every character. The character sheet was there, and I pointed to the character. "You were just holding this one."
And he said, "Maybe your ghost took it."
"Like my ghost painted your lip?"
"She is pretty tricky," Eston said.
When I think back on looking at that lego character, it had a bit of a dream quality to it, but I don't remember it as a dream. It did kind of remind me of the times I was professionally hypnotized. That has a 'flavor to it.' Anyway, the whole thing could have been nothing more than being inattentive in this reality frame, but I am interested in knowing if I can duplicate this and intentionally have surreal experiences in real time.
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