Is society moving us towards a Poly- Lifestyle?
I am thinking this is going to be a short article. I may update it as I reflect on it further. The title seems pretty clear about the subject. Think about dating in our modern lifestyle. We have an app for that. Or two. There is the potential for an ideal partner always just a click or swipe away. Even if we find someone interesting there is still that potential there, and so- there is a drive not commit because there is always that potential.
Gone are the days where people hold relationships that last a lifetime. Most of us are seasonal. Serial monogamy is the new term. Every 'next' relationship took me further from the ideal, the Disney/Holy Wood World of one partner for life. After a while, the thought as occurred to me why even bother pretending. People come and the go. Not just because people are bad or have an ADHD approach to relationship, but because of the complexity of our lives. There is a solid push from society for us to be independent first, and the greater your level of independence, the less need there is for others. Seriously, consider someone who is less independent than you- you're less likely to find them acceptable in terms of relationships. Indeed, even doing so would likely lead to power struggles, and power has always been problematic in terms of longevity of relationships.
If someone in a relationship messes up or there is any grievance, perceived or otherwise, family and friends are immediately in our ears telling us 'you can do better.' And that's true. I refer you to the apps above and the potential for better being around every corner. As tech improves, and the sophistication of dating apps allow us to pursue our specific interest this is likely to increase in terms of trends. Revolving relationships are just around the corner.
But also, consider this. Do you remember celebrating valentines as a kid? We were encouraged to include everyone in handing out our cards and candy. And that's the right thing to do. Being inclusive and celebrating love and a holiday and everyone's uniqueness is important. Leaving someone out of that, well, that's kind of messed up and leads to a dark path that many people get on and it's hard to get off of, and usually results in depression or worse. My son and I created a valentine box for kindergarten so that people can share 'love' and so he can give 'love' to others.
Gone are the days of having favorites. There has been a trend to break up 'best friends' at school. Best friends, having favorites, results in clicks. What happens to people who can't join a group? Well, we have probably seen evidence for what can happen, worst case scenarios where people go insane and mass murder. That's rare, but it happens. But insanity works it's way in so many directions- so like, there was Barber that was sued because he didn't want to do a woman's hair. He only cut men's hair. It made the news because the woman who was offended departed before he could direct her to a someone who would cut her hair, and he would even given her coupon for a free hair cut, but she was out the door and in her anger went and got a lawyer and sued him, and he lost on the grounds of discrimination.
Seriously, if we can't have preferences, men can't have men clubs, and women can't have women's clubs, then what's left to us? If we can't have preferences- where does that lead? Disrupted inclusivity results in what? Forced poly? Poly by default?
I don't know. What do you think?
Gone are the days where people hold relationships that last a lifetime. Most of us are seasonal. Serial monogamy is the new term. Every 'next' relationship took me further from the ideal, the Disney/Holy Wood World of one partner for life. After a while, the thought as occurred to me why even bother pretending. People come and the go. Not just because people are bad or have an ADHD approach to relationship, but because of the complexity of our lives. There is a solid push from society for us to be independent first, and the greater your level of independence, the less need there is for others. Seriously, consider someone who is less independent than you- you're less likely to find them acceptable in terms of relationships. Indeed, even doing so would likely lead to power struggles, and power has always been problematic in terms of longevity of relationships.
If someone in a relationship messes up or there is any grievance, perceived or otherwise, family and friends are immediately in our ears telling us 'you can do better.' And that's true. I refer you to the apps above and the potential for better being around every corner. As tech improves, and the sophistication of dating apps allow us to pursue our specific interest this is likely to increase in terms of trends. Revolving relationships are just around the corner.
But also, consider this. Do you remember celebrating valentines as a kid? We were encouraged to include everyone in handing out our cards and candy. And that's the right thing to do. Being inclusive and celebrating love and a holiday and everyone's uniqueness is important. Leaving someone out of that, well, that's kind of messed up and leads to a dark path that many people get on and it's hard to get off of, and usually results in depression or worse. My son and I created a valentine box for kindergarten so that people can share 'love' and so he can give 'love' to others.
Gone are the days of having favorites. There has been a trend to break up 'best friends' at school. Best friends, having favorites, results in clicks. What happens to people who can't join a group? Well, we have probably seen evidence for what can happen, worst case scenarios where people go insane and mass murder. That's rare, but it happens. But insanity works it's way in so many directions- so like, there was Barber that was sued because he didn't want to do a woman's hair. He only cut men's hair. It made the news because the woman who was offended departed before he could direct her to a someone who would cut her hair, and he would even given her coupon for a free hair cut, but she was out the door and in her anger went and got a lawyer and sued him, and he lost on the grounds of discrimination.
Seriously, if we can't have preferences, men can't have men clubs, and women can't have women's clubs, then what's left to us? If we can't have preferences- where does that lead? Disrupted inclusivity results in what? Forced poly? Poly by default?
I don't know. What do you think?
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